Intentional Choices that Hurt Our Travel Life

As we have mentioned before, travel is a passion of ours and we make lots of decisions in order to make it a big part of our life, for both us and our kiddos. But we need to make a confession: we make a lot of decisions that hurt our travel opportunities. We are normal people and we strongly believe that a big part of having happy lives is making sure you’re not just counting down to the next vacation, and instead truly enjoying each day. For about ten and half months a year, we are waking up in the same bed, getting in the same car, going to the same job, driving down the same roads, rotating between the same ten or twelve meals for dinner, and the view out our house window is not what you would call picturesque. With all that being said, we love our life. One of the ways we make sure we love our life is by knowing what is important to us and who we love, and making sure to include those things and people in our lives.  We are very fiscally responsible, but sometimes you have to make decisions based on happiness and not pinching every penny (because we already do this in all the biggest areas of our life).  

So here are some of the things we do that are working against our travel life, and that’s okay with us:

Being the guardians of children

Kids come with a lot of responsibilities, a lot of added expenses, and additional difficulties when it comes to travel.  We don’t have any real certainty with our role as their guardian, because we are not the only decision-makers in their life. If it were up to me, they would be mine forever. To us they will always be our family, whether they are with us or not.  The reality is that we make short term deals to keep them in our home based on the current situation. Sometimes those deals go through until the end and sometimes we get the dreaded call informing us that they will be gone within hours or days. It is very hard when you love kids like they are your own, but you do not have total control over major life decisions. But, for the most part,  we have come to terms with it. The pain we sometimes feel is the price we pay for all the good times, and for the opportunity to increase the chance that our incredible kids are as successful and happy as they dream they will be. So yes, every month the food budget is a quite a bit bigger than when just Sarah and I are eating, sometimes having to leave them at home for a trip causes me to have lingering stress about what my teenagers are doing alone in the house for the whole weekend, and paying for six flights certainly runs up the vacation costs. But it is worth the pride we feel daily, the growth we see when they learn from mistakes, and the unconditional love they give us right back.

Our pups 

Recently I was with a group of people and the two “men of the house” were griping back and forth about how they never wanted a dog. The decision to get dogs was one made by their partner or family, and they just deal with it. They didn’t want the added stress, the added logistical piece each night they spent away from home, and the added expenses incurred.  I sat there in disbelief, feeling so grateful to have my two incredible dogs at home waiting for me. Sarah and I love dogs. Ever since we had Kovy in Uganda, I finally understood the whole “loyal companion” thing that everyone had always been talking about. I have self-esteem issues that cause anxiety around my relationships with other people. Sometimes I feel like people can’t possible like me as much as I like them, and it causes quite a bit of stress. But I never feel that way with Shadow. He is my best friend because I always know where I stand with him. To him, I am the greatest person to ever exist and that unconditional love (much like Sarah’s) improves my self-image. I never have to feel that anxiety around him, so it is a relationship that is constantly improving my mental health. With all of Libby’s ailments, allergies, and anxieties, they are definitely a pricey addition to the family, and needing someone to watch them when we go away feels a little like an anchor, but those are burdens we would choose over and over again in exchange for the joy, love, and companionship they add to our lives.

My soda habit

This post is just becoming a long confessional for me, so now I will share my worst habit: I have a serious soda problem. I drink one or two 32 ounce sodas everyday. Yes, this is disgusting, but I try to be healthy in most other ways to make up for it. Unfortunately, I brought Sarah down with me and she joins in a few times a week (but with one 24 ounce soda, because she’s not an addict). I have three reasons why I spend $2-3 a day on soda. 1) I have an addiction, 2) We don’t drink coffee, so this caffeine powers us when we need it, and 3) This is a built-in daily reward and ritual for Sarah and me. This is the reward for putting in a hard day’s work, usually a workout and/or run, and spending half the night driving around or cooking for the kids.  It also gives us a daily 10 minute break where the two of us just sneak away to enjoy each other. It is my favorite part of the day and it is an intentional system meant to plug daily joy into my life. Yes, when you add it up over the course of a year, this is nearly half a week’s vacation in value, but the way I see it is that I get a daily 10 minute vacation.

These are our biggest albatrosses to having more opportunities for travel in our life, but they are intentional decisions that we don’t want to change because they are part of the full and happy lives we live all 12 months of the year. So live intentionally, make decisions based on what is important to you, and fuck the rest.