People Are Good

Skepticism is so prevalent in our current culture that so often it causes us to distrust others or put up barriers. We are all taught from a very young age not to talk to strangers because they could have bad intentions or be trying to take advantage of us. As we grow and experience the world there are some times when those feelings are proven true, and those few negative experiences tend to carry more weight than the overwhelming number of instances each day that actually disprove this idea.

Our Belief

One belief we have that guides our life is that people are good. Whether it is the student in my classroom, the cashier at my favorite convenience store, or someone we’ve never met on the other side of the planet. People sometimes make bad choices, but the sum of nearly every person I have ever met is good. Our work is one way we get to experience the good in so many individuals each day, but being able to find this goodness in others is also one of our biggest motivators to travel.

How did I come to think this?

Fear was constantly present throughout my upbringing. My extended family taught my parents to fear everything that was different and anything they didn’t understand. Different was bad. Our way of doing things was always right. Everything else was wrong. Everything else should be feared. This was modeled to me day after day. Each time my mom turned down a street she didn’t know, she was filled with fear. Each time a person that looked different than us walked by, I was clutched close. Every time an idea that was contrary to the ones they held was shared, it was immediately laughed at and dismissed.

But I think my parents knew their own family’s way of living wasn’t perfect, so they gave me and my sisters every opportunity to learn and experience new things, even when it scared them. This eventually led to me travel. At first it was just to nearby cities to participate in service work. Then to Vermont to attend college. Then to a few states around the country, again to participate in service work. And eventually to study abroad in South Africa.

In every place I went, I interacted with so many different people. Lots of them were people my grandparents would have told me to fear because of their class or race or sexual orientation or choice in food or whatever menial difference they would have noticed. No matter where I was or who I was speaking to, every time I approached people with kindness I was given kindness right back. Any time I didn’t understand, people were always willing to explain. Every time I have been lost, people were willing to help me find my way. With each of these experiences, I found myself wanting to meet more strangers so that they could share part of themselves with me. Because all the people I have met have been overwhelmingly good.

After studying abroad, I was telling a friend stories about two times when I was really REALLY lost. In each of those instances other people helped me find the way. In one instance, someone went well out of their way to get me where I needed to go and even paid for my transportation. When I gave him something to cover my costs and for the trouble, he returned a few minutes later with some snacks for me bought with the money. My friend’s response to my stories was “Honestly, I don’t know how more kids don’t die when they study abroad.” And the truth is, lots of people do stupid things when traveling. But it is the kindness of others that ensures that most of us end up just fine. And these same people help us expand our understanding of the world and better ourselves along the way.

There are a few reasons why traveling allows me to experience the good out there more than in my daily life:

• We are just a bit more vulnerable. When I am traveling, I just don’t know as much as everyone around me, so I ask for help more. This gives people an opportunity to be nice, and usually I don’t even need to ask because they already know I need the help. Plus when you are vulnerable, other people aren’t as intimidated by you.
• We unplug a little more. When exploring a new place, I am less likely to have my eyes on my phone because I am taking it all in. When traveling internationally, I use that as an excuse to not get local phone service and unplug.
• We will return to use services that we like. If I am in a foreign country and I get some street food that was awesome, I’ll probably be back. Each time, we’re able to learn more about the good people preparing our food or driving our taxi.
• I’m not in a rush. In my daily routine, I often rush to fit everything in. I love to do things efficiently. However, sometimes that means I ignore the people I see along the way. If I have a 60 minute workout to do and only have 70 minutes until I need to pick up one of the kids, that means a conversation with someone at the gym would put me behind. But when I travel, there is almost always  time for those conversations.
• I treat others as experts. When I am in an unfamiliar place, I always know less than everyone else there. I ask people for their advice and their perspective on things. I ask people to explain things about their town, city, or country that make me curious. People love when you respect their knowledge, and usually this will lead people to open up and allow you to get a truly one-of-a-kind experience.

People are good.