Travel is a Mindset

Vacation Evan is the most fun version of me (well maybe it’s a toss up with Wedding Dance Floor Evan, but I digress), so why not tap into him as often as possible? For me travel does not necessarily mean going to the other side of the world, going to a city far from home, being in a foreign place, packing a suitcase, getting on a flight, or staying in a hotel… instead it is whenever I can tap into that person and that feeling.

Travel is exploring and enjoying a place outside of your normal routine. Sometimes we will go just an hour away to Memphis, and for those 4 hours it’s like a micro-vacation. It is leaving the responsibilities of the house, work, homework, driving kids to and from sports practices, and all the other things that fill our time and stress buckets. For that time, we can focus on just who is in the car. Now this might not feel like a vacation if you don’t intentionally make it feel different than your daily drive to school or work, so here are some tips on how I do it.

Special Behaviors

I have a couple of behaviors when “traveling” that are different than if I were just driving to the other side of town. The first is making a quick pit stop before I hit the highway. I’ll stop at a convenience store and say, “Anybody else want a drink?” Usually at that moment everyone will rise from the car and hit the fountain soda or slushie machines. And for 87 cents per person (I always stop at the spot with the cheapest drinks), we all feel like we just got a little prize. Soon the caffeine and sugar will hit, and the giggles become more frequent around the car. The next thing I do that is different than usual is turn on my wireless hotspot. Hopefully I don’t get vilified for this, as I know how terrible screentime is and I hate that my kids are addicted to their phones, but it is how they interact with the world and also allows them to feel a shift from our usual norms. These small behaviors allow our time to feel different. You don’t need to use my behaviors because there are plenty of other things you can do like make a road trip playlist, pack a certain snack, play a favorite car game, or anything else you can think of to make the time feel special.

Be Open to Exploring  

I love going to the same place and finding something new going on. Be open to doing something different than your usual “go to” activities. Be okay with detours, or follow something that peaks your interest. Kids are curious by nature, I’m very curious… so why not just give in to our instincts when we aren’t constrained by our usual schedule? (Read more about this at our other post- How to make an old place feel new!) Which leads us to…

Be Lax with Time and Schedules

We can’t always do this because sometimes we have to get back for a practice, a friend coming over, or some other activity going on at home, but it makes a huge difference. If we have an obligation at a certain time to get back for, we give ourselves tons of extra time so we don’t have to rush. If your micro-vacay is centered around a planned event and it can be flexible, choose the earliest time so it’s at the beginning of your trip. Then you only have to have a schedule for that small period of time, so you can lay back after. Giving yourself the freedom to move about at a slower pace or make spontaneous decisions can really make any outing feel more like a vacation. Not being concerned about time is perhaps the MOST vacation mindset you can have, and it will naturally lead to the the aforementioned exploring.

Have Fun Traditions

Okay, I love trying new things, but I also love having little family traditions. When we go to Memphis, we often end our day the same way.  We order pizza for takeout from Little Italy, my favorite pizza spot in my region (I am a pizza snob from New Jersey), and then we take it down to Tom Lee Park on the Mississippi River. We eat the pizza and then play on the exercise stops that line the path along the river. Everyone gets a meal they like, it doesn’t break the bank, and we get to move around and be outside before we begin our 60 minute drive home. My kids love talking up this activity to friends when they come to the city with us, and I love that they love it. We seem to have created, sometimes intentionally and sometimes inadvertently, little traditions like this in all the different places we frequent.

Be a Person and Not the Rule Enforcer

Too much sugar, too much screen time, you should be reading more, be quieter, so on and so on.  That list could be a 100 times longer if I named all my parenting worries that I am dealing with or, ya know, nagging about incessantly. And Vacation Evan lays off it a little bit. I try to let everyone off the hook… less rules, less routine, and sometimes even loosened budget restraints. This allows us to just enjoy each other more. And as time has gone on, the kids know better what really bothers us and they save those annoying behaviors for when we’re at home. I let go of my own rules too a bit… I sometimes cuss a little more or tell a story that maybe doesn’t show my proudest moments. Our kids need a break from the constant high expectations we place on them, and I need time off from enforcing them.

Be Comfortable with Small Unordinary Purchases

Now if you have read anything here, you know how budget-conscious we are in our daily lives. But the purpose of a budget is to always know what you can afford to spend. These “travel” moments are one of the reasons I budget to have money. I will buy things that contribute to our experience of a place or to simply give in to a curiosity. One example is food, especially when it can can be shared. Cider donuts make any fall event that much better. Last year, buying flavored, cooked crickets from a science museum gift shop really turned up our New Year’s Eve. A spontaneous mood ring purchase fascinated the boys and actually made them way more reflective about their emotions (for the couple weeks before they lost them). Letting loose the budget strings can make things feel more like a vacation, so spend responsibly.

These are our tips to activate that Vacation Mode any time of year, on any kind of budget. Use these tips or figure out whatever it is that helps your family find that feeling.